“Life can be so easy once we stop trying so hard to complicate” is a core quote of our self-coaching book Intentionally Becoming Different. While many of us struggle with the complexity of life and its difficult passages, everything in life boils down to 2 dimensions: Results and Relationships. Results can be anything from a successful grocery shopping to a nice holiday or good work performance. Relationships is any human interaction, including the one we have with ourselves. Results are fueled by personal responsibility. Healthy relationships on the other hand, have their foundations on trust and mutual respect – and are literally good for our health. While focusing on results does not necessarily generate good relationships, results accomplished through healthy relationships are the most rewarding and long-lasting ones.
Why is something that sounds so easy yet so difficult? The answer might be simple. We have been programmed to achieve results since young. Our parents wanted good grades at school, at university or other tertiary education we challenged ourselves to graduate well so to get that great job; arrived in the job finally, it is all about results and performance again. While none of these are wrong, the art and importance of relationship building got somehow neglected. We tend to ask ourselves “how many noteworthy results have I achieved so far?” rather than “how many healthy relationships have I built that last?”. Establishing valuable relationships takes time and effort – both of which we are often not willing to invest. However, if you do not work your net, networking is not working. Appreciate every person individually, build every relationship personally. Relationships go hereby beyond family, friends and colleagues. Healthy relationships should touch any encounter: The service staff, the janitor, the bin collector, the construction worker, the nurse. As Stephen R. Covey said, “touching a human soul is like working on holy ground”. We may in fact ask ourselves “how many souls have I touched so far?”
The shift from result-orientation to relationship-orientation is also an important mindset shift for leaders, in line with executive star coach Marshall Goldsmith saying, “successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift focus from themselves to others”. In other words, as we may have dedicated the first half of our lives to achieve results that bring us fast forward, the second half of our lives might be dedicated to live relationships that move us far altogether – eventually achieving great results together. Focusing on tasks may give us results rather fast, while focusing on people will give us results that last.
Leaving you with this thought: “When you focus mainly on people, results will come; when you focus mainly on results, people will go.”
Thus, we are naturally quite result-oriented, let us nurture being more relationship-oriented.
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